


Heat-hazed Days

by ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder_er



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Dean Winchester, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, First Time exploring the world, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Kid Castiel, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Road Trips, Self-Hatred, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:10:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4718927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder_er/pseuds/ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder_er
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No no. I don't want to say goodbye. One. One more time. Let re-live our happy days together one more time."<br/>Castiel was the last descendent of Medusa who was separated from the outside world from the day he was born. One day, an Angel came for him and made his wish came true or rather redeemed for his past actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this fic. I'm still inexperienced in writing fics so please leave your comments. Writing time loop fic is hard but I 'm trying my best.

9 years ago,...  
Surrounded by a great barrier of green, a small white cottage had hidden itself from people's notice. Under a shadow of a big tree, a young boy was flipping through the pages of his old yellowed book. He stopped at a faded picture in which he was immediately absorbed. In the picture, people were in the middle of a parade. They were smiling happily, making the boy's heart flutter in exuberance. He closed the half-read book and set it close to his heart. Reverberating gently, it was filled with imagination about the world outside. He hummed along with the chirping sound of birds passing from branches to branches above him.   
A rustling sound of wings roughly interrupted his song. Walking toward him from the bushes with a calm speed was a man with striking green eyes. His look was beyond belief with strong jaw and muscular frame. His plaid shirt showed no sign of sweat despite the heating temperature of the summer sun. His face was emotionless, showing no kind of expression. The boy stood up, warily eyed the strange man with his book still being held in his arm.   
"Who are you?”  
The man suddenly glowed with such radiant light that make the boy winced. Behind him, spreading mightily was the shadow of big invisible wings.   
"I'm an angel of the Lord.” The man replied with a stoic expression, his lips barely twitched. The boy stood there, shocking at the sight before him without noticing his book had long fell into the grass below. The angel took a step closer, reaching out his hand.  
"There is nothing to be afraid.”  
The boy felt his breath constricted. He wanted to scream but his voice had long being stuck inside his throat. His foot was felt like being trapped in concrete, completely unable to move. The angel's firm hand placed on his head and a surge of energy rushed through his neurons and his veins. His heart was beating chaotically inside his chest, threatening to break out from his ribs. But the worst if all was the profound pain in his eyes, searing into his brain. He couldn't think straight anymore, his mind was clouded by the fright he was feeling at the moment.  
Suddenly, the pain stopped. He opened his teary eyes and saw his mother pulling him away from the angel with panic on her face. She held the boy tightly in her arms, glaring at the angel with anger. The celestial being showed no hint of being threatened. His mother yelled at the top of her voice. Her tone was hoarse.  
"Just leave us alone. We had sworn not to hurt anyone. Why don't you just spare us?”   
"Because the blood running inside your veins belongs to the Devil. Your existence can not be permitted.” The angel showed no compassion in his tone, just blank expression. A silver blade slid down from his sleeve. He approached closer to the miserable woman and her child.  
The boy could sense fear in his mother's trembling arms. Her sweat from the unbearable heat of summer heat dripped down her face and mixed with his own. The sight before him was blurry. His eyes still suffered from the torturing pain from earlier. He felt his entire body limb and powerless. They took a step back away from the angel.  
A rustling sound of wings disturbed the tense silence and the angel disappeared into thin air. They jerked back and a silver blade pierced through his mother chest from behind. Red colored his vision. Blood gushed out of her mouth along with her agonizing yell. Blood splattered on the boy face. Blood dripped down from the cold blade.   
His mother pushed him away and turned her back, gripping tight to the startling angel with all of her remaining strength. Her blue eyes glowed and turned red. The angel's body was petrified and crumbled into small pieces.   
His mother collapsed on the grass, letting out her last breath.  
The boy yelled in agony. His voice echoed through the wood. He punched into the pile of stone until his hand bled while biting his lips until he felt blood in his mouth. Tear streamed down from his agonizing eyes.  
His eyes burned and turned red.


	2. Imaginary Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was where it all began.

The summer breeze gently knocked on the old wooden window. Castiel put down his half-read novel on the table and slowly followed the melody of the wind. He opened the window and welcomed the invigorating air of the afternoon. The empty house was brightened with the gentle light. The chirping sound coming from afar sounded like a delightful melody to him. Castiel leaned outside to breath in the air and as he was humming his mother’s lullaby, a small blue bird landed on it, tilting its head at the boy in curiosity. He lowered his gaze, staring closely and asked with a kind smile. “Where do you come from?”

The small creature let out a short chirping sound in response and flapped its wings. His attention followed its rustling sound of feathers until the bird disappeared into the thick forest, wondering what it would like out there.

The 14-year-old boy shrugged his shoulders and returned to his book as soon as he settled himself on the old wooden chair. He flipped through the worn-out pages in order to look for his bookmark.

There was a reason why he hid himself in a small house in the middle of a thick forest, beyond people’s notice. Of course, no one had ever been there.

The world was surprisingly simple but he was the bizarre one with complication no one could ever understand.

“Don’t look into people’s eyes or they will turn to stone.” His mother gentle hand slowly caressed his pink cheek. A glimpse of sadness flashed through her blue eyes. Memories about his mother had always been so vivid to him. He contemplated his mother’s words many time. It appeared that his eyes got some powers which he couldn’t fully comprehend and he was sure that people was afraid of his kind as he brushed his hand at the yellowed picture of a snake-haired woman in his book. He looked at a small stone outside carved with the word “Naomi” and found his heart sunk.  The stone was where his mother spent her eternal slumber. She was killed by an archangel whose grace was as bright as the sun. Even the purest creation of God considered them to be an abomination. This cruel world had taken everything that are precious to him, his beloved mother, his freedom,... and the worst of all – his life- by granting him this so-called gift. With his hardened heart, he resigned himself to loneliness, spending his days only on seeing things around his small house while the world kept silently spinning around its obliquity.

Castiel moved on to his next book –The Galactic Railroad. The old cover was still sparkling in his childish eyes. This book was really special to him because every nights, under the starry sky, his mother would read it to him, pointing at the dark silk covering everything and telling him that someday, she would let him start his pilgrimage to the outside world and find his happiness. Sadly, her wish had never come true. However, this book still let him continue to hope even in the irrationality he was born in. Was there still life running inside his body?

No matter how great he despised this world, he longed to see it with his eyes. All he knew about the world out there were in his mother’s book collection. He wondered if he longed for this world, would he ever be forgiven.

He glanced at the wooden door and faintly smiled.

_Tell me something the wild future which I imagined in this vast world. Will it be today or tomorrow when you knock on that door?_

Suddenly, a strong wind rushed through the opened window, making Castiel close his eyes. A small white petal landed in the middle of his book. Castiel smiled softly and lifted the herbal tea cup up in his hand. He blew gently and let the peaceful aroma scatter around inside his nostrils.

A rustling sound of wings disturbed the dull silence of the thick forest. Animals looked at the man in plaid shirt and blue jeans warily. It was because they could sense his grace. The archangel had come here to finish his incomplete job in the past. 9 years ago, he had come here in order to destroy the last descendants of Medusa –the perfect experiment of Eve and Lucifer- when his vessels was turned into stone and crumbled. They were powerful creature maybe the most powerful one and they were on pair with the Archangel – heaven’s most terrifying weapons. The angel clenched his fist into white, snapping himself out of his thought. It was just merely an excuse for his failure, his first failure as Dean, the heaven’s general. That creature had weakened him, forcing him to shelter inside a boy soul and awake when the boy turned 27. Due to staying too long inside a vessel in his weakened state, Dean’s soul had merged completely with his host. As the result, merging his soul with a mortal had brought to him something called humanity and sometimes it kept clouding his judgment. The ebb and flow of human emotions was something very complex to angels even for an archangel like himself. Dean thought about having it removed by the time he had got back to his home, his real home.

Before he “died” he had managed to kill the mother but her son was still alive and he was here to make sure that the boy would stay silent in his grave for eternity.

Dean ran his fingers through his brunette hair and started searching for his target. He kept himself highly-alerted to every single thing around him even the slightest movement of a random leave. He stopped when he could sense wavelengths of energy coming from ahead. He slid down his archangel blade and slowly tiptoed until he found a small white house hidden behind a thick wall made of tree. His last encounter was reckless and unplanned so this time, he took extra precaution, being aware of the ability of those hideous abominations. The weather was much nicer than noon when the scorching sun burned the surrounding accompanied with uncomfortable humid air. His boot stepped on the softened ground, leaving tracks along the way. Bushes and leaves kept brushing his arms, rustling along his way.

“Save me. Save me please.”

The archangel startled when he heard a trembling small voice of someone’s thought coming from the house. Someone was in danger. He flapped his wings and appeared in front of the old wooden door. No sound.

“Is there anyone inside?” He yelled and earned a rumbling sound of falling objects and a loud bang inside. He winced, trying to guess what kind of shenanigan is happening inside. He gripped his blade tightly and turned the rusty doorknob when he realized it wasn't locked. _Steel yourself. I will end this once and for all._  He encouraged himself and slowly pushed in. The rusty doorknob let out an irritating squeaking noise. He slowly leaned his head through the door and darted his eyes around, inspecting the surrounding. The house seemed normal enough, unless the Medusa tried to camouflage its hideout to deceive unfortunate trespassers. Everything was put neatly in their place. He approached closer and caught sight of a spilled tea cup on the table and some of the books were lying on the floor. He lowered his gaze and in front of the archangel was a trembling figure of a boy on the floor covering his own eyes. His hair and clothes were soaked and Dean guessed it was due to the spilled tea pot lying under his feet. Between gaps of the boy skinny fingers, glowing red eyes sent shiver down Dean's spine. It was the Medusa. Nice try in attempting to trick an archangel. Dean approached a little bit closer, readied to send his grace into that abomination and burn it's organs into liquid. The boy's yell stopped his movement.

“Go away quickly.” His voice cracked and was full of misery. “Don’t look into my eyes or you will be turned into stone.”

\---

_Castiel was sitting under the shade of the tree outside his house. The summer heat wave was unbearable. The heat bounced off the green grass, and caused a mirage of wavering images. The sun beat down like a furnace with no breeze to lighten its fiery breath. There was no stir in the surrounding because it was too hot for any animal to make an effort to move around. The cicadas had begun their endless summer melody. Sweat was pouring like rain on his face, his back, trying to cool himself. He wiped his face and returned to his half-read book.  A loud rustling sound of wings caught his attention. A strange man was approaching him from the bush. His face was blurry due to the heat wave but the striking eyes were beautiful but yet haunting and threatening. The solemn face in front of Castiel was getting clearer as he was closing the distance. Fear consumed him, petrifying his legs and sticking them into the soft grass below. The man placed his hand on Castiel's head and he could felt every single one of his neurons was screaming in pain and blood was rushing through his veins with such speed.He screemed when his eyes started burning in agony like it was being melted inside an incinerator._

_His mother yanked him away from the stranger, holding him in her tight embrace. Her yelling fell on deaf ears as the man showed no hesitation on his face before he disappeared into thin air with a rustling sound of wings. A silver blade pierced through his mother heart and blood painted his vision in red._

_Save me. Save me please._

Castiel's eyes flung open, darting around the empty living room filled with last golden light of the day. A small breeze caressed his teary face. His throat felt constricted while his heart was beating chaotically inside his chest. He let the warm aroma of his herbal tea calm him. Those fragments of memories kept repeating themselves inside his weary mind. Suddenly, his eyes burned in agony, like it was being melted in a heating chamber. He fumbled to a closet to take out a mirror and his reflection scared him. His normal blue eyes were gone, replaced with glowing red ones of which thin pupils looked like that of a snake

 He looked just like a monster inside the stories which he read every day. Castiel was burned in anger and threw the mirror down the floor, shattering it into pieces. The wild future wouldn't knock on that door as long as he was still breathing. He could never blend in because he was a monster. He took a piece of shattered glasses on the floor and placed it on his neck. His hand was shaking but he steady himself. He would do favor for this world by stopping his own breath. He sank the glass down his constricted throat, hoping for release. _Will I be forgiven when I die?_

He stood there waiting for the familiar red liquid to flow but he felt nothing. No pain was found but a remained piece of glass on his hand. _What was I thinking? I can't die. I'm a monster_. Tear shed down on his face drops after drops.

_Save me. Save me from this world, please._

“Is there anyone inside?”

A voice coming from outside startled him. Castiel jerked a little bit and knocked his tea cup.

A knock on the door startled him. It was the sound he had never heard before in his life.

 _How is it possible?_ The future for which he had longed was knocking on his door. To say he was nervous wouldn't be enough to describe his emotion.

He stepped back a little and tripped over one of his books lying on the floor. He crashed his head on the floor. He covered his forehead and whined. The book flew to the table behind, hitting the tea pot and before Castiel could realized, the pot fell on his head, giving him a terrible pain and soaking his hair along with his clothes. The squeaky voice coming from in front of him sent shiver down his spine. The wild future had stepped into his house much easier than he had expected.

A man about 26 stepped in, darting his eyes around without noticing Castiel on the floor at first. He was far more beautiful than any man Castiel had ever seen in his books with strong jaw, brunette hair and was that freckles on his face? The most outstanding feature about the man was his striking green eyes. They had sense of peacefulness just like when Castiel laid on the meadow behind the mountain. He wished to continue indulging in that man's eyes but no. His red eyes would turn him into stone. Castiel quickly covered his glowing eyes.

Seeing him cowering on the floor while hiding his eyes, the man seemed surprised and somehow skeptical.

The stranger reached out his hand. Castiel panicked and yelled.

“Go away quickly.” His voice cracked. “Don’t look into my eyes or you will be turned into stone.”

The man's hand stopped in mid air and Castiel felt a little bit relief. At least the man was safe for the moment.

“I used to be afraid of being turned into stone.” The man's warm voice startled Castiel and helped his body stop shaking. It was weird. His voice sounded like a melody coming from heaven, like an angel's. His hand lifted Castiel's hands away from his eyes. He was terrified now. What was he thinking? Does he have a dead wish? Green eyes met red ones and that was when Castiel's scare reached its peak but the man remained calm and nonchalant. “But I think the world would be better if I let go of that fear.”

The stranger's smile appeared at the corner of his light pink lips and Castiel's eyes started to burn in agony.

“Look away quickly.” Castiel turned away as fast as he could but the man's eyes fixed on his. He was sweating more than usual, worrying for the man's sake. But strangely, he wasn't turned into stone and his hands remained warm and tight around Castiel's. Castiel looked down into one of the shattered glasses and saw his eyes were shifting slowly into blue again.

“See. I'm fine.” The man stood up and Castiel caught sight of a silver blade on his hand. A sudden thought struck his mind. _Right. I'm after all a monster._ He chewed his lips, eyeing the angel. The man turned his back when he noticed Castiel wasn't moving from his spot.

"What's your name, angel?”

"Dean.” Just a cold response.

“What are you waiting for?” Castiel stared at the angel.

“What are you talking about, kid?” His eyes were wide-opened. 

“Kill me already.” Castiel lifted his head, revealing his bare neck.

"What?”

“I know you're here to kill me. I can see your grace through your meat suit. One of your kind had come here and murder my mother.” His voice tensed, trying to conceal his anger. "Do it already.”

The man's eyebrows joined together in curiosity. “That's it. No resistance. No blaming.”

“You are not deserved to be blamed. You only follow your order. What is worthy about my life? I'm an abomination of which even God despises.” That was right. Clinging to his life was meaningless. From the moment he was born, his breath had already polluted the world. At least, being killed by angel might be a good way to die. Castiel shut eyes and his breath was getting slower to welcome his death sentence for being born. His soul belonged neither to Heaven or Hell. It should go to where it deserved - Purgatory. He shall spend his afterlife fighting, being killed over and over again in that place until he turned into a real monster. At least he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore.

A vibrating sound made his eyes flew open, staring curiously at the angel as he pulled out a thin black metal from his pocket and started talking to it. _Is that magic from the outside world?_ Castiel's heart was suddenly filled with his imagination about the wild future he had always pictured inside his mind.  He quickly turned his face away when the angel noticed him staring at him unblinking like a duck staring at a half-eaten bread.

“What are you looking at short stuff?” It was the angel's turn to stare at him. Castiel shifted his position to ease the sore in his kneeling legs and also to cover his embarrassment. His mind battled whether he should asked the angel about that stuff. He wanted to know more badly. He gave in to his curiosity when he let his voice escape his throat.

“What's that?”

“You mean this. It's a cell phone.” A smug grin appeared on his face when he showed Castiel the world's magic. “I thought kids your age love this stuff.”

Castiel's curiosity was stirred up when he heard the angel talking about the outside world. So apparently, kids at his age loved this metal thingy. The trend seemed ridiculous but he wanted to know more. He wondered if his imagination about this world was true. He wanted to explored the world even if it were just words of the angel who was about to kill him.

“Can I have a last request?” He tried to speak clearly but something was burning inside his throat.

"Normally, you don't but I will make an exception this time considering you have been asking nicely." The angel looked at him with pitiful eyes.

Castiel gulped and gathered all of his courage to put them into words that he had been dying to say for years.

“Please tell me about the wild world outside.”

\----

Dean didn't know what he was doing. Killing this kid was his priority but at the moment, he was teaching his target about cell phone, TV and fast foods. This kid was completely absorbed in his talk, not paying any attention to his soaked hair and clothes. His sky blue eyes sparkled whenever he found something interesting. Before he could realized, they had been talking for hours and the sun was slowly hiding itself behind the mountain, painting the sky with beautiful mauve with some tiny little stars. His target let out a small sneeze. It was getting cold and his hair and clothes wasn't dry at first. He actually looked adorable, like a harmless fluffy rabbit, not a Medusa's decedent except when they first met, his red eyes was actually kind of threatening. Dean's heart sunk slightly when he thought about the boy's never leaving his house, buried himself in loneliness and self-deprecation, completely different from his vessel's honey pie life. Dean knew part of this was his fault for killing his mother but it was his mission. Medusa's decedents must be erased from this world. They were Lucifer's creation in attempt to defy his Father and his power.

 _Dean shook_ his head, snapping himself out of his thought. He couldn't feel regret about this. His emotion was just a fragment of his host. He would get it removed sooner or later. His mind was now a fierce battlefield between mission and emotion. The boy titled his head, looking at him curiously

"Come here.” Dean gestured the boy to take a step closer. The angel gently put his two fingers on his forehead, attempting to repair him with his grace. However, nothing changed. Dean's grace couldn't reach him. Dean tried to push himself a little bit harder but it didn't work. The boy pushed away his arm and continued roaming his arm over his phone. His smile was faint but full of sadness and it caused Dean's heart to ache. He kept reminding himself that it was just his vessel's feeling and he would had it removed when he got back to Heaven.

“I think I broke your phone.” He was pushing the power button in panic.

“Hey stop it asshat or you'll break it.” Dean snatched away his phone and received the boy's pouting. It was freaking adorable. In the end, they burst out laughing. But it didn't last long. The boy smiled sadly at him as his blue eyes darkened.

“I'm ready now.”

They both knew how their meeting would inevitably end. Dean stood up as the boy kneeled.

“What's your name kid?” He raised his archangel blade and his grace flown through the length of the holy metal.

“Castiel.”

“Castiel, close your eyes.” The boy followed his order, closed his eyes and lowered his head like a sinner waiting for his final judgment. Dean tightened his grip. Do it. If you want to help him, do it quickly. He must be killed for the sake of all. He bit his lips, drawing blood.

“Thanks.” The voice echoing in the empty house tightened its grip on the archangel's lung.

“For what?”

“Showing me the world.” A summery smile blossomed on his innocent face.

“You're welcome.”

His blade struck down, passing his final judgement.

\------

Castiel was kneeling on the floor, facing his fate. The tea soaking his clothes and hair had already dried but the night breeze from the window still gave him a chill. Outside, cicadas and night owls had begun their night melody. He imagined the sky that night would be amazing, decorated with thousands of sparkling stars. His mom once said that when human died, their soul would be taken to Heaven and embraced by God and his angels. They would become stars no matter what sins they had committed during their life. Castiel had once dreamt that he would travel to heaven and become an angel but he knew he didn't belong there. He didn't deserve to receive God's love. He was a monster and he would die like one. His soul belonged to Purgatory and Eve, the Mother of All. He would truly become a real monster as his hand started shedding blood there. He didn't blame the angel because he was just doing his job -passing judgment upon monsters.

The wild future, despite being his inevitable end, had really knocked on his door. The angel had told him a lot about the world, about phones, movies, music, schools, fast foods,...

The angel had satisfied his imagination about this world. He wondered what it would have been like if he had been a human. He would have been able to go to school, make lots of friends. They would have gone together to some dinners, ordering burgers and chips even though he had no idea what they would taste like. Most of all, his mother would have been alive. He would have been able to taste her food every day. He would have been scolded by her for staying out too late at night. He would have been grounded in his room. Why did all of those simple daily joys seem far and distant for him? He let out a long sigh. He wished he was a human.

A silver flash stiffened his body while he was still indulging himself in the darkness.

But it was weird. There was no pain. But why didn't the fresh aroma of his tea leave his nostrils?

Castiel slowly opened his eyes and was surprised about the fact he could still do that? On the table next to him, the angel blade was stabbed fiercely into the wood. He drew his attention to the angel sweating and panting in front of him. Those green eyes stared straight into his soul.

“Why didn't you kill me? I deserve to die.” He asked roughly and only received a kind smile.

“Today, I've learnt that I have change. Being exposed to humanity, I learnt the value of life, even if it belongs to a monster.” The angel sat down in front of him, keeping eyes contact. “You know. The old me would just stab you with no hesitation but if an archangel can change, maybe a monster can too.”

“I'll eventually die like a monster. My soul belongs neither to Hell or Heaven. It is the truth that can never change.” Castiel hung his head and tears started to stream down from his eyes. He just wanted everything to be over. He just wanted to die.

“I'll grip you tight and raise you from perdition, even if it means we're both killed.” The angel ruffled his hair and that was the first time anyone who did that to him. He loved it because it made him feel special. He playfully pouted and received the angel's endearing smile.

“Come on. Let get you out of here.” The angel stood up to his surprise.

“Where?”

“Come with me and I show you the real world.” From mid air, the angel materialized a tan trench coat and covered his small body. Reverberating peacefully, Castiel’s heart overflowed with imagination and it slowly painted his small world with vibrating colors. Instinctively, he jumped up and hugged the older man, angel who cared? Before pulling away in embarrassment, the angel hugged him back, letting Castiel's head rest on the firm chest. He inhaled the masculine smell into his nostrils, feeling the soft sense of fabric. Most of all, the warmth blossoming inside his chest was comfortable, just like his mother's.

\-----

The summer breeze came again and rushed through the trench coat Dean gave him. The air was invigorating early in the morning before being replaced by the unbearable heat of summer when the sun ascended. He pushed the key inside the lock and turned. His gut was full of butterflies preparing to burst out. It was the first time Castiel had ever left his face. He glanced around the familiar sight for the last time before kneeling down next to his mother's grave.

“Here I go mom. See you then.”

A gentle hand put on his shoulder. He turned around and met a soft and gentle smile along with a pair of bright green eyes. He stood up and let his trench coat sway in the gentle wind.

The first day of summer began.

 


	3. Yesterday Sunset (Route I)

Dean slowly opened his eyes to the morning light leaking through the curtain of their motel room. As an angel, sleep wasn’t necessary to him but he enjoyed it anyway because it gave him chances to stop thinking too much about what he was doing, hanging out with his target. Sometimes, he thought about just killing Cas and things would have been much easier but he didn’t. Part of him wanted to show Cas the world that he had been missing out his whole life because it was the only way for Dean to redeem himself or to be more precise, to forgive himself for what he had done. The small kid seemed eager with everything about him, pointing at anything coming across his path and Dean had to answer every single one of his questions. Speaking of the Devil, the snoring next to him caught his attention. Cas was really energetic the day before and he ate until he passed out. That kid sure had an insatiable hunger.  Dean didn’t say anything and covered a blanket over the small body snoring loudly. He turned his head and met Cas’ weird sleeping from. His legs spread in four directions and his hair was messier than he was awake. His cheek was light pink and looked so innocent. Dean enjoyed the show for a moment, chuckling behind his palms. He tore his eyes away and fished around his tight jeans’ pocket for his phone.

_3:00 PM August 15 th _

He sat up immediately, brushing his hazy eyes. They had been sleeping through the morning and it was afternoon at the moment. Dean noticed the missed calls notification and pushed the icon.

_9 unknown callers_

_Shit!_ His angelic brothers had started questioning him and since Dean blocked his _angel radio,_ they had began to call his phones non-stop. They were sure free enough to annoy him every single hour in everyday and if they had found out about Castiel, he was sure toasted. Dean didn’t afraid of those flying ass monkey. He feared his Father, the almighty God and how disappointed he would if he found out his son had been going on a field trip with a monster. Fortunately, he had them warded with Enochian sigils but they wouldn’t last long because he was after all an archangel. Dean gave out a long sigh. _How did I get into this?_

He dragged himself out of the bed and tiptoed to the radio placed on the boy’s nightstand. Castiel’s head was buried into his pillow.

“Hey, that’s my burger, Dean.” Castiel let out a small whimper. He was talking during sleeping and it was such a shame to ruin the moment but Dean had to. They had been sleeping until afternoon and sooner or later, this “snake” would eventually turn into a pig that could petrify others. He pushed the power button and loud rock music started to scream into the boy’s eardrums. Castiel flew out of his bed, darting around the room warily until he found out that it was just Dean’s mean joke.

“Rise and shine Cassie.” He sang along with the radio with his horrible voice. Castiel didn’t do anything but staring at Dean intensively from the cold floor of the room.

“Dude. Asian.” He grinned at the boy’s deadly glare. He sure looked annoyed at the moment with his eyebrows knitted together and his cheeked pouted.

“Come on you love this song and you know it.”

“Seriously, if I ever hear this song again, I will turn myself to stone.” The boy finally replied with a cheeky tone. He was sure happier these days since he left that old cottage hiding in the wood. Dean turned the volume much louder and started mouthing with the song.

“Come on. Let get your teeth clean before we have some breakfast.”

“I thought angels don’t have to eat.”

“Well, I enjoy the taste of food, especially pie.”

"You know you're weird for an angel, don't you?”

Cas nodded. He stood up and followed Dean to the bathroom. When Dean started brushing his teeth, he noticed the boy was having trouble in using toothpaste. His teeth sure looked nice since the only thing he consumed everyday in the wood was herbal tea which he picked up from his lawn but with his current insatiable hunger for burgers, they would decay sooner or later. He had really created a monster. The boy tried pressing the tube too hard and ended up covering his face with toothpaste. Dean chuckled loudly and almost swallowed his brush. They ended up burst out laughing with each other.

After getting ready, Dean led Castiel out of their room and walked him to the diner. The afternoon was nice enough, not too sunny like noon when the blazing sun burnt the ground with its scorching heat. Castiel like a mischievous rabbit skipped around Dean. He opened the door and let the small kid run inside enthusiastically.

A rustle of wing made Dean turned around and a black woman with straight black hair stood behind them. She gave off a dangerous air with a stern face while wearing a tight grey suit. Dean knew well who she was.  She immediately grimaced when she saw that Castiel was hiding behind him and trembling.

"Raphael.”

"Dean, where have you been? We have been looking for you for years. And what are you doing here with this abomination?” She asked with a stern face with low harsh voice and he thought that was kind of weird for a family reunion.

"I'm in no danger. We're on a road trip.” He kept his voice nonchalant. "You can go now.”

"You are supposed to kill him. He's dangerous.” The woman tensed her voice, slid down a blade from her sleeve and pointed it at Castiel causing him to take a step back. The boy suddenly kneeled on the hard concrete and covered his eyes. _Oh shit. His eyes are glowing again._ It seemed that Castiel’s eyes would automatically turn red whenever he felt threatening just like when they first met. Dean slid down his, hiding the boy behind his arm.

"I can assure you that he's harmless. I'll watch over him.”

"We have our order, Dean. What do you think you are doing?” Raphael took a step closer while gripping her blade tighter, confusion appeared on her knitted eyebrows. “You’re disobeying orders.”

"The last time I check, I am the order. Just relax a bit, will ya? I said he's fine.”

"I'll be back for him. I’m sure you will make the right choice eventually.” She gave Castiel a deadly glare before she turned away and disappeared into thin air after a rustling sound of wings. Dean let out a relived sigh and lowered his gaze to check on Castiel.

"Hey hey. There is nothing to be afraid.” He patted the Cas’ head gently. “Are your eyes alright?”

“I’m fine.” Castiel uncovered his red eyes turning slowly into blue again. For a moment, Dean was completely lost into the deep ocean inside those eyes. "Will you listen to him, Dean?” His trembling voice was filled with fright.

"No. I made a promise, didn't I? You are going to have fun exploring the world today, caspiche?”

"Yeah, I caspiched.” A shy smile appeared at the corner of his lips.  Dean grinned and walked him into the diner.  Dean had bacon with egg and coffee. He glanced at the boy sitting in the opposite, devouring his burger like there was no tomorrow. He thought living only on herbal tea for 14 years could really make you mad. At least Cas’ worry about Raphael stopped but Dean's had just begun. The Heavenly Host was after them for sure and they needed to get back on the road immediately. Raphael was right. He was going against his order by not killing Cas. He spaced out a minute when loud eating noises snapped him back to reality.

“Slow down a little will ya?” He teased the little hungry beast sitting in front of him with 5 empty dishes.

Cas looked up from his burger with his mouth full making Dean chuckled. His cheek was covered with all kinds of sauce.

"But this is really delicious.”

"You have been having burger nonstop for the past 3 days.  You know changing your diet won’t kill you?”

"Not in a million years.” Castiel smiled wide, showing his full mouth. "Burgers make me really happy. So where are we going today?”

"I don't know. Which one do you prefer?”

"I want to go to human school. I read about it in the books but I wanted to see the real thing.”

“I think that could be arranged. It is in the middle of summer so we can fool around in some random school. Are you ready, boy?”

“Yes sir.” Cas raised his hand up his forehead in the salute position like he had watched on the TV last night.

After breakfast, Dean took him out to the parking lot so no one could see them. He spread his invisible wings and flapped them. Castiel always dropped his jaw whenever he saw him do that. Castiel had confirmed that he could only see the outline of his wings through the formation of his grace but not its true form.

 They were immediately transported to a small town on the other side of the city. The weather there was nice and sunny with little clouds floating like a flock of sheep. A small summer breeze brushed through their hair like ghostly fingers. Castiel ‘s oversized trench coat was swaying in the wind like wings but he didn’t care much about it. Dean had offered to make a new one but the boy insisted on keeping it no matter how silly he looked in them. Both sides of the street was planted with two lines of huge tree, forming an endless green lines to the horizon. Castiel was over-excited and started skipping around. Tiny droplets of light leaking through the leaves landed on the boy’s pale face, causing his eyes to sparkle like little stars. Dean was there when God created the universe and he was sure Castiel’s blue eyes were more beautiful than any other star his Father had tried so hard to shape.

"Where are we?” Cas asked but was easily distracted and jumped in the air, trying to catch a yellow butterfly playfully teasing him. Dean chuckled at Castiel when he looked at him questionaly.

“I'm going to walk you to school. Parents walk their kids to school on their first day.” Dean patted the boy’s head and ruffled his messy smooth hair. “You don't want to miss the full experience, do you? ”

“Does it make you my Daddy?” The boy’s childish question caused Dean’s heart to jump. _He is going to give me a heart attack some day._ But of course, as an angel, it was nonsense of Dean to think like that. He smiled and playfully pinched the boy pouting cheeks until the boy let out a small yelp.

“Don’t try to replicate those Daddy kink stuffs you saw on TV. My vessel was only 27 and I don’t want people to think I’m a pedophile.” Dean reached out his hand. "Come on. Let get you to school.”

Castiel stared at his eyes then his hand for a moment and finally grabbed it. A summery smile blossoming on his pale lips at the moment their fingers touched and intertwined with each others set fire in Dean's chest. His heart fluttered chaotically like it about to break his ribs. Castiel's blue eyes sparkled under the sun like even more beautiful, filled with innocent and sincerity like the blue sky in spring. Dean felt his face, his ears hotter than usual and turned away to hide his blushing. This kind of emotion was entirely new to him so he bit his inner cheek and pretended to be as solemn as possible. Castiel only titled his head questionably at the angel which even made his level of cuteness higher. Grabbing the small hand, Dean began to walk him under the line of tree. The summer heat couldn't bother him because the pool-liked eyes of Castiel. The town was quiet and empty, only the chirping sound of birds dancing on branches echoed there. Houses here were mostly one-story ones with gardens. Not much car drove there so the air was invigorating and peaceful. Dean wondered why there were not much people outside beside a few old citizens watering their gardens. It was summer and there was supposed to be laughter and chattering of some teenagers around the street like he had anticipated. Maybe they had gone on vacation or something. All he knew that everything here moved in a gentle and slow speed. Castiel in his hand was cheerfully humming to some kind of lullaby he guessed and his summery smile never left the corner of his lips. Somewhere inside Dean, he wanted that smile to never leave, keep blossoming on Castiel’s face.

After a 10-minute walking, they finally arrived at the local school. It was maybe the largest building around here with its overwhelming height compared with local households. Its area was huge with a big swimming pool and a running track. The school’s vicinity was planted with many trees most of which were very tall. Underneath them, there were small wooden table for students to have lunch or just chatting with each others. But at the moment, it was during summer break and the school was empty.

Dean took Castiel to the front entrance. From out of nowhere, a tall black guy wearing a blue uniform appeared in front of them. Dean took a step back and increased his grip on Castiel’s hand, fearing the boy would run away. Castiel had never been an extrovert to his experience. The boy was sure energetic to find out more about the world but he would be social-awkward in front of anyone beside Dean.

“Hey what’re you two doing here?” The man asked with such serious voice.

“Um...” Dean had a glance at the man’s nametag. “Victor, we’d just move in and my younger brother would love to see his new school before the year.” He plastered a fake smile and gave Castiel a small wink. “Right, Cas?” For a moment, Dean thought it was a really bad idea to teach the kid how to lie but hey, that was how we became presidents.

 Castiel understood the signal and nodded several time. “Yeah. I love schools and I just can’t wait.”

“See, Victor. Can you make an exception?”

“No can’t do.” Victor shook his head. “We have rules and policies here. Please come back after the summer break…”

The man was too busy talking that he didn’t notice two of Dean’s finger placing on his forehead. He lay down on the ground as soon as Dean sent a bit of his grace too his mind and put him into a deep sleep. _Come to think of it. Isn’t it kind of irresponsible for angel to misuse my grace like this?_ Dean asked himself that question but the second he looked down at the small boy next to him, his doubt had gone. The kid had gone through enough, losing his mother when he was still young, being separated from the outside world and he deserved at least this. Dean also wondered himself why he put himself into this. Had he grown fond of this little creature?

“What did you do to him?” Castiel took a step closer with his hand still clinging to Dean’s. He was appeared to be worry for the security.

“Just sedate him a bit.” Dean grabbed the unconscious man and transported them to the back of the school. He held the man on his back and gestured Castiel to come along.

The school hallway was bigger than it looked from the outside with white floor. Moreover, the current emptiness really emphasized the vastness of the corridor. Two lines of light blue lockers trailed along the hallway until it reached its end at the main entrance far away. Some of them were decorated with some weird stamps or pictures.

“Hey.” Castiel’s yell echoed several times along the empty hallway.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Dean asked when he was putting the larger men into the janitor’s room. The boy didn’t answer but only smiled softly before sliding along the stainless floor. The squeaking noise coming from his shoes echoed along the wall. Without noticing, Dean smiled back.

He slid next to Castiel, grabbed the boy’s waist and held him in the air. The boy was extremely light and fragile like a delicate doll which would crash if you were not careful. He tickled Castiel and they both laughed until their jaws hurt. For a moment, Dean felt his heart was beating faster than usual. Not nervous, pain or anxiety but a much warmer feeling was blossoming, spreading through his veins. A feeling he had yet to comprehend.

He let Castiel down and grabbed his hand. They walked through the empty corridor and began their exploration around the school. They entered many rooms and messed with the teaching facilities like a couple of mischievous children. Actually, only Castiel was a child and Dean was a millennium-year-old angel but something about Cas released his inner immaturity. Bearing the responsibility as the firstborn of his Father, since the moment Dean was born or created, he had never been able to act like a child and have some fun for once. He was fine with it as first but with his soul merging with a human soul, he learnt a whole new perspective. They played around the building until the sun started to disappeared behind the far-away buildings. Lampposts was turned  on and lit up the road from afar like tiny little stars.

They stopped at a room in the middle of the way and stepped inside. The sun far way at the horizon painted the room in orange. Small particles of dust floating in midair reflected the light coming from the large window and sparkled like small pieces of shattered diamonds. Castiel ran to the windows and opened them, inviting the summer breeze inside. The thin white curtain began to fly pairs of wings, creating rustling sounds. Castiel leaned outside and gasped in awe. His blue eyes trailed along lines of floating cloud until they disappeared to horizon. Having satisfied, he sat down on of the chair, brushed away the dust and sneezed.

Dean settled himself in the teacher desk next to the board and tried to put on the most serious face.

"Castiel, have you done your homework?”

The boy seemed confused at first but quickly caught on. He lowered his head and pretended to sound innocent. "No sir.”

"You know that's bad don't you? Hard work doesn't kill you.”

"But sir, I don't want to be the first.”

 They both couldn't contain their laughter and let it burst out until their jaws hurt. Their laughter echoed through the empty classroom, disappearing into the empty hallway. Dean felt like had really become their. He walked through the rows of chairs desks and sat on the chair in front of Castiel. His voice still a bit tremble for the earlier laugh.

"Are we having fun yet?”

The boy didn't say anything but lowered his gaze to the ground. He put his hand on the desk, running his hand through the surface. Somehow, Dean couldn't keep the smile on his face anymore. The deafening silence continued, making him worry.

“So this is what it likes to go to school?” He finally let out a small whimper without showing his face. "It must be great to school everyday, to have friends, to learn new things, to be scolded for not doing your homework.”

“I wished I was human.” Dean’s body froze when bitterness began to invade the boy’s tone. Small sparking particle fell on the table and broke in to small puddles. Tears streamed down from the boys cheek as he lifted his head. His teary blue eyes glittered even more than usual when it was reflecting the last golden light of day. Dean’s heart ached and he felt his throat constricted in front of the sight. He grabbed the trembling hand settling on the desk.

“You are not…”

“No.” Dean’s words were immediately cut off by Castiel’s sudden yell. His voice was hoarse and cracking.

Those wide-opened blue eyes started to glow. Red consumed the blue ocean in Castiel’s eyes.

“I’m a monster. This life wasn’t meant for me. My red eyes are the proof of that.” His trembling voice echoed in the empty room, like an outburst of his feelings hiding behind his usual summery smile. Dean hung his head, knowing his words couldn't reach Castiel anymore. However, Dean still wanted to help because he was the one who ruined the boy's life. Dean needed... no... wanted to light up the small hope about this world hiding behind those eyes. 

He looked passed Castiel’s face and caught sight of a small flyer on the board at the end of the classroom. He walked there and grabbed the small piece of paper. It was the leaflet introducing a Superman movie showed last month. He knew because his vessel had watched that movie with his brother but the memory was hazy and unclear. Something had happened when their soul merged. He walked to Castiel again. The boy had long stopped his sobbing but fixed his gaze at the board. His soulless eyes were still glowing in red.

Castiel startled when Dean patted his head and ruffled his messy hair. Dean showed Castiel the paper. The boy grabbed it in confusion.

“Who is this man?”

“A hero. That is what he is.” Dean pointed at the man with red cape on the paper. His finger moved and stopped at the red cape.

“You see. Red is the color of heroes so you don’t have to be afraid.” He lifted the boy’s chin and their eyes locked to each other.

“Your power was sure terrifying but what you do with it will determine its nature. Being a hero or a villain is up to you, kid.” Dean gave Castiel a small smile. He thought he sure had changed a lot. Dean had always been a loyal and obedient to his Father, casting his brother into hell mercilessly and 9 years ago, he came in front of them and killed Cas’ mother without hesitation.

_"Because the blood running inside your veins belongs to the Devil. Your existence can not be permitted.”_

His words in the past were screaming inside his head. With all of his effort, he tried to make up for Cas by showing him the world. He asked himself whether he would ever be able to redeem himself to Castiel. He swallowed a little, trying to choke back the guilt burning furiously inside his throat the more he looked into those crimson eyes.

"Let me tell you a story, Cas. Long ago, there was an archangel who casted his brother out of heaven because he was so obedient to God, a good soldier. His brother pleaded for mercy but the archangel still struck down his blade without hesitation, knowing that he was doing the right thing, a true hero.” Dean paused for a moment. He found his breath had become uncontrollable and his heart ached painful as those well-hidden memory started to scratch it. “ Times pass and he realized he was no hero but a coward who was too afraid to stand up for his family and it was too late. See, there are angels who are worse than you. Your attitude will decide your future so don't cry anymore.” He brushed his finger At the corner of Castiel's lips, feeling the soft skin under his touch and smiled softly. "I love your smile so never let your silly thought crush it.”

"I don't think there is too late for anything.” Castiel finally spoke with a cracking voice. "My mother used to tell me everyone makes mistakes but the most important thing is whether you have the courage to admit it.” Castiel paused for a moment, gulping before letting out a small sigh. “I don't think you are a coward, Dean.”

Castiel lifted his head and brushed away his tears. He smiled as the blue ocean started to fill his red eyes again. Dean's body stiffed when hearing Cas’ words but he let out a relief sigh and smiled at him softly.

"Thanks, kiddo.”

 Their eyes locked with each other in silence but no word was needed for them to understand each other‘s feelings. Their shadow became larger as the blazing sun sank lower into the horizon. The orange sky was slowly painted in mauve, revealing tiny sparkling star. 

“Let’s go.” Dean gave the boy a small smile and reached out his hand. Castiel smiled back and their finger brushed together. Small warm feeling rushed through Dean’s veins the moment they touch, just like when the first time they met.

Suddenly, the windows cracked and shattered into pieces, making them to fall into the floor. The lights inside the classroom was suddenly turned on and shattered. Dean felt his vessel limb, powerless which was impossible for an archangel like himself. He lifted his heavy body while trying to avoid shattered pieces of glass, turned his head at Castiel to make sure he was alright. The boy nodded and pointed his finger at the classroom door with a terrified expression. The clanking sounds of high heels disturbed the silence. Dean lifted his head and looked into the glowing blue eyes staring back at him. It was Raphael and this time, she was not alone. From behind her, two of his angelic brothers dressed in black suit rushed out and captured Dean’s hand and lifted him up. He tried to yank his hand away and escaped but his current condition prevented him from doing that. Normally, those angels wouldn’t stand a chance against Dean. A smug grin appeared at the corner of Raphael’s lips.

“Well, Brother. I didn’t expect you to be here and hand us the boy. Aw. Feeling a little bit limb, aren’t we?”

“What have you done to me, Raphael?” Dean pushed himself forward, trying to escape but his effort was in vain.

“Let just say I carved special Enochian sigils against you around this school.” She patted his face and moved to in front of Castiel lying on the floor. She tugged the boy’s collar and pulled him up in the air. Castiel was breathing hard and fast. His red eyes were glowing again.

“Look at you, abomination- the perfect experiment of my brother, Lucifer. Those red eyes should never be allowed in this world.” Raphael looked at the little boy in disgust like she just saw the most hideous creature in the world.  Her archangel blade slid down from her sleeve and was put next to Castiel’s throat.

“Don’t do anything to him.” Dean yelled, earning Raphael’s sigh.

“Don’t worry Dean. When we get home, you will be Mi…”

“Don’t call me by that name again.” Dean immediately cut off her words. He didn’t want to hear that name ever again because it brought back to many painful memories. His throat was hoarse and constricted. His eyes were straining in anger as tiny blood veins appeared at the corner.

“I’m supposed to stay here and look for rouge angels. Fortunately, you two sure had the strangest luck.” She smiled softly. “It’s called Fate.”

Her archangel blade struck down at Castiel. The boy was closing his eyes and biting his lips, letting out a small whimper. Dean had to do something. He wouldn’t let Castiel die. He didn’t get to see enough. He didn’t get to experience enough. He deserved a normal life even though it was just a fantasy Dean created in his mind throughout their trip.

Dean wouldn’t let that summery smile fade away into Abyss. His grace rushed through his vessel with such enormous speed and finally concentrated on his eyes, glowing blue light. He felt more powerful than ever as his body was overflowing with grace. He switched his place with Castiel and endured such profound pain when the blade struck into his heart. Raphael looked at him in terror with her mouth opening wide, gasping in panic. The blade pierced through his vessel and right into his grace, destabilizing it like bomb starting to explode inside. He felt his entire vessel was trembling as light began to escape it.

Dean fell down onto the hard ground with his eyes fixed at Castiel. The boy was yelling while being held tightly by two other angels, struggling to break free. Tears streamed down from those red eyes and disappeared into the hard floor. Dean’s ears were buzzed with noises. His eyelids were heavier than ever. In the end, he couldn’t protect that smile.

_Ah. I failed! Like I failed every godforsaken thing I cared about._

_No. I don’t want to say goodbye._

\-----

   

Dean woke up and realized he was sitting in a small cottage. The piercing pain in his chest was gone but Castiel was nowhere to be seen. The surrounding was familiar but his mind was still too hazy to remember. There was a big bookshelf on his left stocked with many different books with various colors, height. From the window on his right, he could see a big thick wood surrounding the house. The sun was shedding down gentle light from the clear blue sky. A sweet scent of herbal tea awaked his sense. A woman with long black hair was sitting in front of him. Her face was familiar but Dean couldn't remember who she was. A genuine smile lit up on her pale face.

Her glowing red pupils sent shiver down Dean’s spine.

“Castiel used to be too afraid to give in to his urge to explore the world. Now he has grown up and soared in the summer sky.” She said with a tender voice like a sweet melody from heaven. She cupped her hand around her tea cup and gently blew on the steaming surface before sipping in a little. She let out a sigh and bit her lips. Her eyes was deepened in thoughts and worries.

“Where am I? Where is Castiel?”

“Castiel is fine, for now.” The strange woman settled her cup on the table and lowered her gaze at it. Her eyes were sad and miserable. "The upcoming future will be rough for not only him but you too.”

Dean didn't understand what she said but he knew what he wanted to say out loud.

"I'll protect him no matter what happen.” Dean's words burst out from his mouth, filled with determination.

Then, she looked at Dean with a mysterious smile. The woman’s eyes fixed on him. Those red eyes looked like they had complication that no one could ever find out.

“Who are you?” He finally asked.

She smiled softly and put one finger on her pale lips.

“I think this is enough for today. We’ll be in touch.”


	4. The blurry silhouette under the scorching Sun (Route II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time reflowed again :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to publish a new chapter. School was bitching me for weeks. I would love to thanks people who are sticking with me to this chapter :3  
> Route II will be broken down into 2 chapters due to the fact that it's reach over 4000 words and I don't want you guys to sleep halfway:3  
> A little notice, this fic contained many routes so don't let yourself be confused :3 Although these routes seemed irrelevant to each other when the characters' memories were wiped at the end of the day, they will provide you backgrounds and uncover piece by piece of the antagonist's plan  
> Like usual, hope you guys enjoyed it :3  
> Your comments are my motivation to keep on writing :3

Dean sat up on his bed, wincing at the morning light coming from behind the curtain. He felt his entire boy limb and powerless. It would be normal for a person to feel like that when they just woke up after a long nap but the thing was, he was an angel and angel’s grace precluded any physical feelings. His head was a little bit hurt. Honestly, he had not much memory about last night dream except for a blurry image of a middle-aged woman. Her red eyes sent shiver down Dean's spine. Maybe it was just a product of his vessel’s imagination.  He didn’t know what was happening to him lately but he just shrugged his shoulder and decided not to give too much thought on such trivial matter.  Castiel’s snoring amused the angel, making him chuckled at the boy’s weird sleeping form with his legs and arms spreading in four directions. That sweet smile of his still warmed up the angel’s heart. Dean fished around his pocket for his phone and unlocked the screen while rubbing his half-asleep eyes.

_August 15 th, 7:00 A.M_

It was morning and it was time to move on because his angelic brothers would catch them soon. He glanced at the boy. Castiel had suffered too much when he was still a 14-year-old boy and it was mostly Dean’s fault. If he had just listened to that poor woman for one second, Castiel’s life would have been much better than now. Dean pondered whether he should tell Cas the truth that he was the angel who killed his mother but it would be the story for another day, maybe when he found his courage to face the boy. For the moment, it would be better for two of them if it was just a secret.

Dean yawned and stretched his muscles before slowly stepping out of his comfortable bed and walking toward Cas’ bed, standing next to his nightstand. Castiel's sleeping face was out of this world. He looked exactly like a normal human boy, not a Medusa's descendant. Those pale pink lips slightly pressing together, those rosy cheek even the messy drooling just emphasized his innocent and pure face. And God, if the boy woke up and opened his sky blue eyes, it would felt like fireworks were being lit up inside Dean's chest. Suddenly, the boy rolled over, tangled himself with the bed sheet and just fell into the floor with a loud crash. The boy sat up immediately, quickly glancing around in confusion and stopping at Dean's amused chuckle. His eyes were still half-asleep, blinking at the angel.

"Well  good morning to you sunshine.” Dean crouched down in front of Castiel and patted the boy's head.

"Good morning to you, Dean. How did I end up on the floor?” The boy scratched his cheek, yawning. His hands wrapped tightly around his pillow.

"You did it to yourself, sweetheart.”

"But why were you standing next to my bed.” Castiel eyed Dean with a skeptical look, startling the angel.

"I was just...um... about to brush my teeth. That's right. I was just crossing by.” Dean stumbled over his words. It would be inappropriate of him to stare at a sleeping boy.

"Right. Lusting after a boy while he was sleeping. How typical for an angel.” Castiel smiled at Dean darkly. His cheeky voice struck directly into Dean's embarrassment. The boy was good but he was better.

"Huh, what’s up with that cheeky voice?”  Dean gave him a smug grin. “I wish you would act like this in front of the waiter.” The night before was a classic. They were entering a diner when a blonde girl came and greeted them. At the moment, Castiel turned on his social-awkward mode and jerked back, causing the man from behind to fall. Dean laughed so hard at that while Castiel kept stumbling over his apology in panic. Lucky for them, the man was nice enough to let go.

 Castiel’s cheek turned into an even brighter shade of red. He quickly buried his face into his pillow.

“I thought we agree to never talk about this again.”

“No way Jose.” Dean laughed loudly. He wondered when was the last time he had this much fun. Long ago, when his… Dean snapped himself out of his thought. It was in the past now and he had  to let it go. He kept reminding himself that he had to move on but those memories had become a part of him, a part which he wanted to seal away forever deep inside his hardened heart.

“You Devil.” A flying pillow suddenly hit his face, making him to roll over on the floor. Castiel was sitting on his bed, his eyebrows knitted together, his lips pressed together tightly, his eyes looked like they were about to cry and his cheeks and ears was as red as a tomato. In the end, they both burst out laughing at each other. Maybe that was what Dean was looking for, a peaceful morning which he and Cas laughed at each other like a couple of idiots, something to ease his weary mind. Dean didn’t know what future awaited them but at least he should enjoy the moment for as long as possible.

He held Castiel’s hand and pulled him to the bathroom. Like usual, Castiel kept messing up with his tube and ended up getting himself covered with toothpaste.

"Hey, since it's still early, why don't we go to the mall and grab ourselves a fancy breakfast?” Dean said while putting on his leather jacket. Castiel walked out of the bathroom with some of the toothpaste still sticking to his hair. "That would be nice, Dean.”

Dean walked inside the bathroom and pulled out a tower, gesturing Castiel to come closer. He wiped away the toothpaste, running his hand through Castiel's messy hair. Cas' hair was really soft, just like a fine sheet of silk and before Dean's notice, he loved ruffling the boy's head, making his hairs stood at every directions.

"There you go.”

"Thanks. Let's go.”

They stepped outside at 8:00 A.M, leaving behind the coolness of the AC. It was a typical summer day with the blazing sun scorching the road, causing wavering images on the burning ground. The summer breeze didn’t help much, bringing only hot and humid air which even caused you to sweat more than usual. They walked alongside the road under shades of big trees and headed for the mall in downtown. For Dean, weather was just trivial matter because his grace could preclude any physical feelings so as to prevent interruption in their usual “holy” mission. Castiel walking beside him wasn’t doing so well in adapting to the hot summer day. He was breathing a bit faster than usual with sweat beating down his cheek, sliding down his neck and eventually fell into the burning road. His attitude changed, too. Normally, his mischievous personality combining with his curiosity would make him jump around like being bit by some kinds of bug, pointing at every direction but at the moment, Castiel was staying silent all the way. Maybe snakes didn’t like hot weather much, did they? However, Castiel still insisted on wearing his oversized trench coat which Dean gave him when they first met. The boy wore it every single day with his t-shirt and jeans, like it was one of his features. Dena’s heart jumped at the thought, smiling softly at Castiel.

From afar, the wavering big silhouette of the mall between the jungle of buildings brought light to Castiel’s blue eyes. The boy suddenly snatched Dean’s arm and pulled him along quickly like being high from some kind of drug or overflow with sugar in his veins. Castiel was stronger than he looked, yanking him with such brutal force. They moved quickly, from shade to shade. Dean didn’t fight back, letting the boy take control. Everyone else was chuckling, thinking that they were close-knitted brothers. Their thoughts were like buzzing sound inside the angel’s mind. For a moment, Dean felt his heart arched at the word _siblings_. He used to have 3 little brothers but he failed to protect them, failed to become a true brother like he supposed to be.  He cast one into hell and let the other one run away into the human world. He tried to choke back the burning guilt burning inside his throat whenever he thought about them. They used to happy together and now their world of happiness crumbled and shattered into fragments of memories which he knew he could never mend back together. If only he could reverse the flow of time, if only he could be back to those day. But he knew, time could never flow back. It was bendable but also very consistent.

Suddenly, a cool air hit him and before he could react, he tripped over a threshold and fell into the cold marble floor. He glanced around and realized that they had already arrived at the mall while his mind was wandering back to “those days.” Castiel was breathing hard in front of him, collapsing into his embrace. The boy was light and fragile, just like a delicate doll with which you have to be careful. Castiel lift his cheek and his smile brightened Dean’s soul. That smile was so genuine, bright like the scorching heat of summer, slowly making his heart reverberating peacefully. Those blue eyes was sparkling, staring straight through his vessel. Their eyes locked together until a voice coming from behind startling them.

“I know you guys are still having fun but would you mind stepping out of the way for others?” A short-haired, middle-aged woman in security uniform with a stern look on her face was standing next to them. Her arms crossed while one of her feet was beating down into the floor just like a real cop on T.V.

Dean grabbed the boy and stood up, hiding his blushing. He took a glance at the woman’s name tag and plastered a smile. “I’m sorry… Jody. I and my... brother were just messing around. Good day to you.”

“Oh well. That’s what siblings do right?” _No. Siblings betray and fail each others._ Jody’s words like they had claws scratched Dean’s heart. A sudden grip on his hand made him to look down. Castiel was eyeing him in worry. This trip was supposed to be all about Castiel, not him. Dean shrugged himself out of his thought. He wouldn’t let bad memories affect him today.

He gripped the small hand back, smiling at the blue-eyed boy. “Let’s go kid. Burger is just over there.”

The boy didn’t response, only looked down at the floor and followed Dean’s hand. _What’s wrong with this kid?_ Dean thought. They slowly walked toward the KFC and grabbed a seat at the back. The floor was packed with people with bags of clothes, gifts,... The vast area was filled with lively sounds of laughter, chatter,... But Dean noticed something was wrong. Castiel sitting on the opposite wasn't paying much attention to the glowing board or stores decorated with mannequins like he usually did. No question, no legs kicking, no nothing. Just an uncomfortable silence between them made the air become rather intensive. Castiel just looked at Dean, not bothering his cold burger. His blue eyes filled with complications.

"Hey, did something get into you snake?” Dean grinned, trying to lift up the mood.

The boy looked down at his hands rubbing with each others and then shoved the burger into his mouth. "Nothing. Nothing at all.”

"I can read your mind if I want Cas.” Dean sipped in his cola, grinning to the straw in his mouth. There was no denial that Castiel was powerful but not powerful enough to be immune to an archangel's power. "So are you going to tell me or I have to step into your pretty little brain, Cas.”

Castiel let the burger down and swallowed. His eyes still fixed on Dean when he sipped his cola. "I know this is private but...”

"But what, spill it out.”

“Do you have any brothers? You seemed odd when Jody talked about this subject.”

The question like a dagger pierced through his heart right into its softest, most delicate part. Dean lifted one of his eyebrows, straining his eyes at Castiel.

"Yeah. 3 to be precise. But 2 of them were rebellious so I casted them away.” Dean paused for a second because something was chocking inside his throat as the bitterness began to spread on his tounge. He licked his dry lips and forced the air out of his lung, coughing slightly. "Never see them again and never want to.”

Castiel didn't say anything but lowered his gaze to his half-eaten burger on the table, biting his lips like he wanted to say something but decided against it. Dean saw the boy was concerning something about his past but he kept his mouth shut. He intended to read his mind to solve the paradox under that messy hair but decided against it. The boy had his privacy, especially inside his head. They finished the meal in uncomfortable silence, only the sound from the crowded background existed between their gap. Finally, Dean was the one who spoke first, trying to change the subject.

"Want to go to the upper floors? I bet there are some new stuffs for you to see.” He poked the boy nose and received only a half-hearted smile. Dean paid for their meal and grabbed the boy's hand. Castiel didn't fight back, his other hand hang in midair. Dean eyed him sadly while they stepped into the elevator. Castiel used to love elevator, saying it was like some kind of magic but at the moment he showed no enthusiasm, just looking at the cold floor and sometimes peeking at Dean. The door opened and the floor greeted them with loud music and colorful panels hanging on the ceiling. They stepped out and wandered around at the TV corner. They didn't stopped by, just gave everything a cursory glance. Dean eyed Castiel and while he wasn't paying attention, he pumped into a short man staring at a screen. Dean apologized but the man didn't say anything. He looked up at Dean and then Castiel with his curious golden eyes. Then, he put his hand into his green jacket's pocket and left.

A strange but yet familiar feeling came across Dean’s mind but he shrugged himself. He pulled Castiel with him and continued their day. A sudden gun sound startled the angel. Dean pulled Castiel into his embrace and crouched down to the floor the protect him. From afar coming from the elevator, a man yelled: “Everyone gets on your knee or we’ll shoot the crap out of ya.” From behind a man in black bullet-proof jacket with spiky back hair yanked Dean’s hand. He let himself be pulled away because it was too dangerous to reveal himself in front of mortals. This was just merely a terrorist attack. He grabbed Castiel’s hand as tightly as he could, feared that he might lose the boy. They were made kneel at the center of the floor along with other shoppers. Everyone looked terrified and scared but Dean’s mind was still calm and nonchalant. There were 10 people in the gang, all were armed.

A man in bullet-proof vest with a scar run along his left cheek walked out in front of the panic crowd. He pointed his gun at the ceiling and shoot.

“No more weeping here or I will shoot every single one of you in the head.” He groaned, gesturing a masked woman behind him to the computer station. She pulled out a USB and put it in the plug. The scar-faced man who Dean assumed to be the leader fixed his microphone, speaking in to it threatening words.

“To all the police out there. It’s been hard on you so I’ll say this once and only. Frankly, we have one demand. Within 30 minutes, you’ll bring us 10 billion dollars to the top floor of this mall. Don’t try to use counterfeit money or any stupid tricks because you know what, I’ll kill everyone here.”

Dean sighed in boredom. Human could sure do anything to satisfy their greed for soulless sheets of green paper. In the past, he had asked his Father to wipe away this disgusting specie but he was declined.  He kneeled there, yawning at the sight before him. Dean eyed Castiel. The boy was trembling, his face had gone pale. He nudged Castiel’s shoulder, comforting him. Everyone else was scared too. All of them eyed the gang, some even prayed for his Father. _Pray all you want but Father had left the building._ Dean thought sarcastically, grinning to himself at those silly prayers echoing in his ears.  From behind, a man yanked Castiel away from Dean’s grip, startling him. That man pulled Castiel to his leader despite the boy was weeping. They put Castiel on speaker while pointing a gun at his temple.

“We have a child here so hurry up.” The leader said with a devilish voice into the microphone. Dean felt anger was boiling in his veins with his hand clenched into fists. He felt himself a bit too possessive but no one in the world was allowed to touch Castiel, his Castiel. He was going to rip their lungs out of their chest and crushed them into oblivion. Dean moved his fingers to the left behind his back and the TV on the shelf fell on the man on the left. That guy fell into the floor with his head smashed into the screen. Blood started to leaked from his injury as he was pulling by his partners. Dean grinned, intending to drop more TV on those knuckle heads.

“What did the hell happen?” The leader shocked, his hand gripped tight to gun pointing at Castiel’s temple.  A small smiling sound coming from behind caught Dean’s attention. It was the short man from earlier. He was trying to stop himself from laughing by biting his lips.

“What is so funny?” Dean glared at him. The man wiped away his tear, still trying to hold back his laughter.

“Sorry. I can’t help myself.”

Dean sighed and turned his attention to Castiel, standing silently like a lifeless doll. The boy had stopped crying but he was mumbling something in his mouth. The air became oppressive and the fear of red searing through Dean’s brain when red consumed the blue ocean.

_Deceiving Eyes_

Castiel’s eyes glowed red and a spiritual black snake crawled along the larger man’s hand. Five more made their way from the corner to the other man in the gang. The terrorists were caught in surprise and let go off the boy. Castiel jerked back a little and stood straight.

_Captivating Eyes_

All of them to Dean’s surprise looked at Castiel like they was heavily hypnotized. They stood there like statues.

_Locking eyes_

Their legs began to petrify as Castiel’s red eyes began to glow brighter. The hostages gasped in shock. Some were covering their scream with their palms, some were praying hopefully. Dean immediately run to Castiel and used his hand to cover the boy’s eyes. He didn’t aware that Castiel’s eyes had other abilities and started to worry. His power was growing every day and getting harder to control. Sooner or later, Heaven or worse, Hell would try to capture this boy. Castiel’s tensing body relented in Dean’s embrace and the terrorists regained their consciousness.

“You monster.” He yelled, pointing a gun at them. Suddenly, the terrorists were sucked into the TVs behind them with a flash. Dean fixed his gaze at the short man from earlier as his hand glowed in white. It wasn’t magic. It was grace and Dean knew who owned that one.

“Gabriel.” Dean gasped. 

“Yo Mikey.” Gabriel grinned at him with a smug expression on his face.

“It’s Dean now…”

“Dean? I’ve never thought I will hear that name again.”Gabriel drew closer to Castiel, investigating the boy. Castiel was hiding behind Dean, trembling like a little kid. He literally just defeated 10 armed terrorists by just looking at them.

“Who’s this peculiar creature… Dean?” Gabriel flicked his eyes at Dean.

“Castiel…” He whimpered.

“What a beautiful name. You know I used to have a brother whose name was the same as yours.” Gabriel was still smiling at the boy, attempting to befriend without giving Dean a single glance.

“I found him in the wood. We are on our road trip.” Dean’s throat was constricted, burning like there was hot lava inside it. He couldn’t believe in his eyes anymore. His long lost Gabriel was standing in front him. A surge of happiness rushed through his mind like an outburst of endorphins in his brain but a sense of guilt choked back inside his throat. He thought Gabriel would be lost forever or worse, killed and it was all Dean’s fault. His mind traveled back to the day his brother decided to take off. The scorching sun seared in too his eyes fixing at the blurry silhouette of Gabriel as they stood on the edge of Heaven, where the sky and the earth met.

“I can’t believe you banished Lucifer. He is our brother.” Gabriel’s voice cracked into inaudible sounds with tears shedding down his face.

“He _was_ our brother. This is the inevitable ending for traitors.” _Michael_ ’s voice stayed calm and nonchalant, as cold as ice. “Don’t make me banish you too, Gabriel.”

His brother looked at him with his teary but stern eyes, full of disbelief and anger. The silence between them ended with Gabriel’s small whimper. “You don’t have to do that.”

“What?”

“I said you don’t have to banish me like Lucifer.” Gabriel’s anger broke out into the air. “I’ll banish myself.”

“Don’t do this to yourself Gabriel.”

His brother smiled faintly before falling on his back into the mortal world, leaving behind words full of bitterness. “I wish you weren’t Michael.”

That was the day heaven lost an archangel but for Dean, he lost his brother. He despised himself, the cold and obedient Michael. Because of him, his family fell apart. Ruling the throne of heaven all by himself when his Father left, what did the almighty Michael feel? Regret? Lonely? Satisfied? He felt nothing. He was an angel and like any angel, he didn’t have feelings. His brothers, Lucifer and Gabriel, somehow managed to acquire that aspect of human and became rebellious.  Human’s emotions, _Michael_ blamed them for his loss.

But now, having merged his soul with a human’s, Dean understood everything and for the first time ever, he had experienced a the most profound pain he had ever felt, not when on a battlefield but when he reunite with his long lost brother.

“You were awesome, kid.” Gabriel ruffled Castiel’s messy hair. Dean eyed his brother and turned away when their eyes met. Castiel retreated back to behind Dean, eyeing both of them.

“Come on, let me give you treat for being a hero today. How about we go to the amusement park next town?” Gabriel grinned, reaching out his hand at the reserved boy.

“Come on Cas, you don’t have to worry nothing. He’s my brother.” Dean clapped Cas’ back, moving the boy to the front.

“But I thought your brothers are hunting us…”

“Wait what? You are being hunted by Heaven.” Gabriel shook his head, smiling sarcastically. “Heaven had sure become a mess when I left.”

“Lots of things happened and Cas is Heaven’s most wanted.” Dean forced himself to smile but it turned out quite awkward. “Anyway, he won’t hurt you.”

Castiel finally let go off Dean’s hand and gripped tight to Gabriel’s. The other archangel smiled triumphantly and yanked the boy into a tight hug before lifting him up in the air. Castiel seemed scare as first but the boy finally gave out a loud laughter while being tickled.

“Want to join us Dean?” Gabriel asked with his eyes fixed on Dean’s. His golden eyes sparkled the color of _those happy days._ Maybe Gabe had forgiven him and this was his second chance to fix everything, to redeem himself for what he had done. Gabriel, his long lost brother was standing, in front of him and that what matter. He smiled brightly at them and grabbed Cas’ other hand.

“What are we waiting for?”


End file.
